As impact tops, M and I spend generous amounts of time with our faces a mere few feet from someone’s butt.

Do you know what body part is attached to our face?

Our nose.

Do you know what body part is attached to someone’s butt?

Their butthole.

Now, let’s connect the two (not literally). You’d think it would be obvious that if you’re planning to engage in any activity where your butt will be pointing directly at someone’s face, you would have the self- and others-respect of making sure your butthole is clean beforehand.

You’d think that. And yet, ass stank happens often enough that I’m actually devoting 500 words to this very issue now.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure your butt is clean before you engage in any impact play.

I’ll expand this even further. If there’s the slightest chance your bare butt is going to be pointing in the direction of someone else’s face (be it during impact play, a rope suspension, 69, doggy style, or … the ultimate poo risk, pegging), please please please make sure your butt is clean.

Now, here’s what I mean by clean:

Always shower between poop time and playtime. Better yet, always shower before playtime. We would absolutely love to see this practice normalized in our communities.

While you’re in the shower, get between those butt cheeks and clean your crack and hole. Use soap. Don’t just let the water run down your back and over your butt crack and expect that to be sufficient. Like, get in there and scrub that sphincter clean.

Does the idea of scrubbing your sphincter gross you out?

Well, you’re just gonna have to get over it.

If the idea of cleaning your butthole grosses you out, imagine how much grosser it is for the person who has to face your butthole.

If a shower isn’t available between poop and play, then bring wet wipes, because toilet paper alone is nowhere near sufficient to remove the stench of poo from your butthole. Toilet paper is only the first step! After a preliminary pass with toilet paper, give your butthole at least two or three more passes with wet wipes.

And if you have a hairy butthole? You may actually need several wet wipes to thoroughly clean yourself.

Even if the smell isn’t something you’ve ever noticed or cared about, consider this a courtesy to your play partners — and one way to keep them as play partners.

Having said all that, we don’t kink shame, so if you’re into scat play, have at it. Just keep in mind that clean butthole still needs to be your default, while smelly butthole is something you opt into during your negotiation. Please don’t be so disrespectful to your top as to subject them to your bottom non-consensually.

For the record, the stench of poo wafting out of your butthole is something we will never consent to, and ass stank is at the top of our list of transgressions that will ensure we never want to play with you again.

TL/DR?

Wash your asshole, asshole.